Hi Loves! Its been a while since I have blogged and with this new blog I will definitely be blogging a lot more because I miss having an outlet to write what I feel! Excuse the blog its still under construction But for now Hope you enjoy my post!
Sometimes I wonder where im going to be in 10 years from now, I wonder if I'm going to be really successful or if im going to have more kids running around or if im going to look a certain way etc.. But then I start thinking to myself instead of always focusing about what I could possibly be doing in 10 years I have to remind myself that I have a thing called a job, 2 little ones who call me mommy, A hubby who also requires my love and attention, bills, a dog, taking care of myself and just a whole universe of different things that I do on a daily basis and I need to be a little more present in the " NOW". There are days that I wish I could stop time for just a moment or maybe even rewind time to where I could just go back and do something differently or better, but I cant and sometimes we just need to learn from what we've been through and embrace it and keep doing what we need to do to be good with ourselves. That has always been hard for me because I worry a little too much about everything in my life, everyone in it and the things that I should be doing better but I eventually always forget to think of myself first. I tend to keep to myself and not really ever talk about my emotions or how im feeling, maybe because I don't like to ever put that sort of attention on me.
So Lets get to the point of my blog today lol, I have always been a little bit on the bigger side (Don't get me wrong I like being Thick and no im not over the top obese) however being the bigger one has always had its set backs especially when it came to people comparing me to others or saying an indirect insult but trying to make it nice. I really love myself and I know I can be better than I am now which is why I started this blog because I want to show all those people who always think that Im not going to do anything that I am and that they are wrong! I hate how people have always said things like "Oh yeah you're a little bigger but you are proportionate" or the typical "You Look great for being a thick girl" or " this person looks great, oh yeah you look good too" .. that's annoying because you know people aren't being sincere with you. I believe a girl can be confident no matter what size she is, If you embrace what you have then that is all that should matter but if there is something you really want to fix then do it, but do it for Yourself! I did kind of loose myself for a little after having my second baby I was kind of in a depressed mood, not working, we were living in a 1 bedroom basement apt and I felt like me and my husband were always at each others throat probably because we were both frustrated at how our life was going at that point and all we could do was take it out on each other. I had my 2 babies and even though they were/are my joy I still felt like a horrible mother because I really thought I was not doing enough for them. Every little thing my husband would say to me at that moment felt more like an insult and I took offense to everything because I thought he was just being mean and not being considerate but now that I look back he really was just trying to see the best in me but I suppose I can be a little hard headed being a Latina and all jaja. He would tell me to go work out to get my stress out and that I would feel so much better and a plus to look and feel sexy again, but I just didn't listen. Yeah I would wear makeup like always but I wasn't taking care of my body, my mind, and my soul. I wasn't really caring at that point or I guess noticing that I had gained some weight and as time went by I just didn't care at all and got comfortable and really forgot about the person I really was and I kept saying if people love me they will love me no matter what. Life is definitely a lot better right now im living in a beautiful house, have a great job, love catering to my kids and husband and Now that I see it from different perspectives and my kids are bigger and want to play and just enjoy their lives I realize that they need me more than I need my own "Comfort". I want to be able to run and jump and dance with them the same way I used to before I got married, I want to be able to wear a bikini and not care about my stretch marks or my stomach being bigger, and I want to embrace my real self the old stef that didn't care about anything and confidence was my best trait! I don't want to have any of those obstacles because there is nothing worse than me giving a bad example to my daughter of not loving her body even if she has a few flaws. So This blog is more about my journey through what I will be going through whether its about fashion, weight loss, fun stuff I do with my little family, make up, etc.. and I hope you all keep reading and I can help/motivate/inspire at least one of you through all my fun/crazy adventures! This is already hard for me to do but I know that as long as I believe in myself that is all that should matter and the rest will fall into place!
Love,
Stefanie
